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Disney Lab Unveils Latest Line of Genetically Engineered Child Stars
Fresh from the scientists at “Disney Labs,” meet the newest batch of tween stars - designed from the same DNA template with just enough tweaks to offer “unprecedented ethnic blends!” Their brains are perfectly engineered for singing, dancing and photo posing - and the lead geneticist *thinks* he’s perfected his formula this time, so no more of those “lifeless around the eyes” Zac Ephron models. (what?) Leave it to The Onion to give this segment its special dose of enthusiastic morning show chirp.
eGuider: Melissa Roth
Journalist, Author, Web Producer
Melissa Roth has written story extensions and webisodes for HBO shows including Entourage, Big Love, Sex & the City and John from Cincinnati. The author of two books (On the Loose and The Left Stuff), has written for The Washington Post, Rolling Stone and Self magazine. She is currently producing two web series, Miss Beasley's Pick-Up School for Girls and Byron's Barcalounger.