A Flowchart Determining 90% of All Jonas Brothers Fans

by Brendan Lopez

It’s not surprising that clips from South Park’s recent skewing of the Jonas Brothers are going viral. Hatred of the preppy prima donnas runs deep in the veins of every American with a shred of self-dignity. It also doesn’t hurt that each Jonas brother was born with an Everlast-worthy face, begging to be punched over and over again. Yet it seems a bit futile to let our hate be completely directed at the brothers themselves. There are plenty of JB fans that live amongst us, many within punching distance. And when punching isn't appropriate (say, for example, when dealing with a 10 year old girl), they at least deserve our scrutiny – after all, they (or their parents) are the ones paying for these dweebs’ LEGO play sets and My Little Pony dolls.

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