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eGuider Exclusive — January 10th, 2010
9 Craptastic Local TV Commercials
by Michael Tapp
"I don't have a budget, but I want to tell a story of epic proportions about my small business." Those are the typical words a small business owner says before a craptastic local TV commercial is created. Bad acting, poor production values, and cheesy gimmicks cancel each other out and turn these catastrophes into classics. They're not just for local audiences anymore; the wildest local TV commercials can be broadcast around the world and live forever on the Internet. Let's crank up the crazy and watch 9 craptastic commercials.
Dynamic Pawn Shop
Dynamic pawn is out of business. This new breed of pawn shop didn't make it.
Marty Fine Furniture Store
The Marty Fine Furniture store has been in business for over 150 years. The gentleman in the commercial is Marty Fine III. Even though he is in the furniture business, I have a suspicion that Mr. Fine's true aspiration is to make it in Hollywood.
Crazy Gideon's
The name suits the shop. And apparently the store is as crazy as it looks in the commercial. A Yelp review mentioned that the store is still filled up with outdated and dirty electronics. The reviewer also reported that all of the prices are negotiable, and Crazy Gideon frequently says "What do you want from my life!" on the store's intercom.
Moo & Oink
This commercial premiered in 1982 and Moo & Oink is still in business on the southside of Chicago. Tina Fey and Amy Poehler performed this jam on SNL's Weedend Update in 2005.
Norton Furniture
Marc Brown is the owner and spokesperson for Norton Furniture. The Cleveland based furniture store's commercials are a local hit and have also spread all over the web. Marc also uploads his own brand of comedy sketches to his YouTube channel.
Eagleman
Some people consider this to be the worst TV commercial ever created. This commercial was shot in 1993 and The Eagleman has come back for a couple more commercials. It aired in Chicago for over 9 years.
Hobbymasters
Hobbymasters has been in business since 1975. This 7,000 sq. foot store is now run on solar power. You could get lost for days in Hobbymasters. But don't worry, Charlie will find you.
Crazy Bruce's Liquors
Crazy Bruces's Liquors is still open for business in Connecticut. There are two Crazy Bruces's Liquors stores and each one is over 18,000 square feet. I guess the low prices put the crazy in Crazy Bruces's Liquors.
Golden Gate Funeral Home
This is not a comedy bit. Golden Gate Funeral Home is a real business. John Beckwith hosts "Ask The Undertaker" on a Dallas public access TV station every week. Why isn't there are a reality show about this family?
Love 'em or hate 'em, these businesses have created some commercials that have grabbed the attention of a lot of people. And you know, the content creators probably had a good time making these commercials too. Return the favor and keep these businesses open so they will keep cranking out these craptastic classics.
eGuider: Michael Tapp
Content Creator | Shooter | Camera Tech
Michael Tapp has been working in the television and film industry for five years, relentlessly pursuing his craft since the very beginning. For over a year Michael maintained top of the line high-definition and film cameras while he worked at Armanda Costanza Inc. as a motion picture camera technician. He has also edited shows for the D.I.Y. Network and has shot footage for the Travel Channel. Michael and co-creator Michael Margle developed Scott Summit, a spoof on self-help gurus like Dr. Phil and Tony Robbins. Michael is excited to be a part of New Media and thrilled to have a role in the redevelopment of television as we know it. He is currently based out of Tennessee, enjoys playing guitar, and would love an office in the Sunsphere.
